I thought I would start this section off with a nice high redneck factor story. This happened about two months after I moved down here, during my retirement/unemployment period. I was bored off my ass after two months of sitting around the pool, fishing, golfing, so I decided to take a job as a paperboy. Well, I put in my app for a paperboy position, but they told me I was overqualified (what's this world coming to!), however, they had a need for a dock supervisor. Since I had absolutely no experience supervising a loading dock, I accepted the position. The job was pretty straight forward... hang out in the parking lot between 11:00pm and 4:00am, smoke a pack of cigarettes, and break up any fights that might start between the paper delivery people. One night I was halfway through my pack of smokes and making my rounds of the parking lot when I noticed a girl, probably around 18 or 19, with the top half of her body inside a car and the bottom half hanging outside the driver's side window. Since it looked a little out of the ordinary, I moved a little closer to investigate. Through the windshield I saw that there was a man in his 30's sitting in the driver's seat, rolling and bagging his newspapers, while the girl hanging through the window was sucking his cock like there was no tomorrow! And the man never stopped working on his newspapers! I'm sure he was enjoying himself, since I had seen this girl around the parking lot before, and she had a total of four or five teeth in her mouth! You should all thank god that I didn't have my digi camera with me! Without a doubt, a Redneck Factor of 9!

spewed out on February 24, 2003

Ever since I moved down to Florida, I have made a game of assigning a "Redneck Factor" to various things I see. The Redneck Factor is a number from one to ten with ten being a 100% redneck event. I plan to take pictures of these events when I come across them and post them up here for all of you to rate their redneck factor. I think it should be a lot of fun. Please email me if you think of other ways to make this page great. Thanks again for your patience!

spewed out on December 18, 2002